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13 March 2012 @ 01:52 am
fic: things never are  
Title: Things Never Are
Fandom: Castle
Pairing: Castle/Beckett
Spoilers: Once Upon A Crime, general stuff
Words: 3045


Summary: "She met his eyes and in that moment she never wanted the night to end, she could have spent the rest of it in that exact position, holding his hand and his gaze, just knowing that everything was the way it was supposed to be."





‘Long day,’ Castle sighed, leaning back in his chair, looking at his phone.

She glanced over at him. There was nothing special about the moment. He was sitting there, in his chair, like he did every day, playing Angry Birds on his phone and she was doing paperwork, like she did every day.

‘Yeah, it was,’ she replied.

‘And, yet again, I saved the day,’ he commented, putting his phone down on the desk.

She raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. ‘Sure, Castle.’

If she was honest, he had saved the day with his stupid theories and wild thinking. Again.

Not that she was going to admit that to him.

‘Ah, see?’ he smiled at her.

She narrowed her eyes. ‘What?’

‘You didn’t deny it,’ he leaned forward. ‘I did save the day, and I think you should buy me dinner as thanks.’

‘Buy you dinner?’ she laughed. ‘Castle, last time I checked, being a bestselling author paid a lot better than being a New York City homicide detective.’

‘Well in that case, I’ll give you the money and you can pretend you’re buying me dinner.’

She hated that he had that ability, to twist any event into some reason for the two of them to hang out. Not that she minded hanging out, but she could feel it.

He wanted to talk.

Probably about the fact she had taken his hand the other week when they had been watching Martha’s play.

Looking up at him she realised there was no point avoiding that conversation, the conversation she didn’t even know why she was avoiding. She wanted this. The guy sitting across from her was the guy.

Maybe that was the part that scared her.

‘So does that mean I get to choose the restaurant?’

‘As long as it’s not Burger King.’

She leaned forward. ‘Oh I know just the place, but you’re going to have to let me go home and shower first.’

‘It almost sounds like a date,’ he smiled.

So did she.

That was entirely her intention.

She stood up, grabbing her jacket off the back of her chair.

‘You can pick me up at 8, I’ll make the reservation.’

She didn’t miss his slight frown, followed by a smile as she turned to leave the precinct. Yeah, she had definitely confused him.


*



She stared at the pile of clothes in front of her. This was ridiculous. She had so many dresses that she never wore, how did she not have one appropriate for the situation?

Picking up her phone she dialled Lanie.

Don’t tell me there’s been a murder, I am not going down to the morgue at this hour on a Friday night,’ Lanie answered the phone.

Kate laughed. ‘No, something worse.’

Worse?’

‘I have a date.’

With Castle?

She paused. How on earth had she figured that out so quickly?

I knew it! So how did he ask? Where are you going? What are you wearing?

‘That’s my problem!’ Kate turned back to look at her giant pile of clothes. ‘I have twenty minutes and no idea what to wear.’

Girl, you should have called me earlier.’

‘You know my wardrobe, pick something!’ Kate picked up a blue dress.

No, Castle had seen that one already. What she needed was something sleek, sexy, yet classy, and something he hadn’t seen.

That purple dress we bought last year, it’s sexy, classy and Castle hasn’t seen it yet, has he?’

Sometimes Lanie had that scary ability to read her mind. She dug through the pile and pulled out the purple dress.

‘You are a genius,’ she said. ‘Thank you!’

Yeah well you owe me all the details,’ Lanie said. ‘Now go and get ready!

The conversation ended and Kate pulled on the dress. It wasn’t perfect, but it was close enough. Of course in her head no dress was going to be perfect, she had been waiting for this moment for four years.

The realisation hit her and she suddenly found the need to sit down on her bed, staring at the mirror.

This was it.

She was going to walk into that restaurant with Richard Castle and she was going to think of it as a date.

She’d let him in.

Running her hands through her hair she let it sink in for a moment.

‘I can do this,’ she told her reflection.



*



She pulled open the door to find Castle standing on the other side, a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a huge smile on his face.

The same smile tugged at her lips as she looked at him.

‘Flowers? You’re going all out,’ she said, taking them from him. ‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome,’ he said.

‘Just let me put them in a vase,’ she said, walking towards the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water.

‘You have an interesting definition of vase,’ he commented.

Glancing over her shoulder at him, she smiled. ‘I’ll find a proper one tomorrow.’

For a moment she held his gaze, then turned away from him to stop the water before it overflowed. She heard him draw in breath and knew it had worked.

She loved how easy it was to manipulate him, especially when it came to flirting.

‘You look…’ he paused for a moment.

She placed the flowers on the kitchen sink and turned back to him.

‘…beautiful,’ he finished, raising his eyes to meet hers.

‘You don’t look so bad yourself,’ she replied.

For a moment they stood there in silence, the two of them unsure about where this was going, what they were doing exactly. Of course she knew she meant this to be a date, that she was moving forward, but she knew he wasn’t sure.

That was the way she liked it.

With her in charge; at least that way she had the control switch, she could exit at any moment and pretend this was nothing.

She wouldn’t.

But she liked knowing she could.

‘So where are we going?’ he asked.

She smiled.

‘You’ll see.’


*



She led him into the back alley and he stopped.

‘Kate Beckett, are you trying to murder me?’ he joked. ‘Was this was all an elaborate plot so you could commit the perfect crime? I knew you were the real life Dexter!’

She grabbed his hand. ‘Trust me.’

He glanced down at it, a grin spreading across his face. ‘Always.’

It was the first time that evening she’d felt that fear creeping into her stomach; this wasn’t just their usual flirting. They were alone, they were in a back alley and they were both dressed very well.

All they needed was a little Italian food and some wine.

And that was easy to arrange.

‘Seriously, Kate, I feel like you’re taking me to a crime scene,’ he continued.

She stopped them in front of a small restaurant, built between two large apartment blocks. There were only five tables inside, and only one of them was free, a small ‘reserved’ sign sitting on it.

‘Wow.’

Turning to face him, she smiled, squeezing his hand as she realised she was still holding it.

‘I hope you like Italian food,’ she said.

‘I love Italian food,’ he whispered in response.

She met his eyes and in that moment she never wanted the night to end, she could have spent the rest of it in that exact position, holding his hand and his gaze, just knowing that everything was the way it was supposed to be.

A loud rumble from his stomach interrupted the moment.

‘I think my stomach agrees,’ he smiled.

She was slightly disappointed as he let go of her hand to open the door and wave her in, but she knew that moment was easily replicated.

She liked to think she was getting used to the hand holding thing.


*



‘Yeah, you try telling my mother that,’ he laughed.

She echoed his laugh and looked down at her empty plate; she had been a whole lot more hungry than she thought she was going to be, but now that she thought about it she hadn’t eaten all day, completely caught up in the case.

The bottle of wine was empty too, but that she had been looking forward to.

‘This is nice,’ he commented.

She looked up to see his more serious expression, it was the first time all night she had seen serious Castle and it made her stomach flutter a little. Now she was regretting all that spaghetti.

‘Yeah,’ she agreed.

She turned her attention back to her wine glass, swirling the last of her wine around in a circle.

This was the part she had been trying to ignore all night, the part she was trying to push away with Italian and wine and candlelight, but she knew deep down that before anything happened between them, she was going to have to tell him everything.

It couldn’t be so hard, she had practiced it in her head a thousand times.

‘Kate,’ he said quietly. ‘I need to tell you something.’

She closed her eyes.

There was no way she was going to let him tell her again before she had admitted she heard it the first time.

Before she admitted she felt the same.

‘So do I,’ she opened her eyes and met his.

He frowned for a moment, glancing out the window.

‘Not here,’ he said. ‘I want to take you somewhere.’

She smiled.

‘Okay.’



*



He paid, even though he’d given her the money to pay for the dinner. With anyone else, including her ex-boyfriends, she would have insisted that he let her pay, especially since it was his money anyway.

But for some reason, with Castle, she didn’t mind. She let him buy her coffee, or the occasional lunch or dinner, somehow it made her feel special. With other men she had always felt like it was a way for them to show that she was their possession in some way, or like they thought she wasn’t able to look after herself.

Yet with Castle she never felt that.

He just did it because he wanted to.

They walked pretty much in silence from the restaurant to a small park at the edge of the river. She had been there before, for a case, but decided against telling him that. Obviously this place was somewhere special to him.

There was nothing uncomfortable about their silence, in fact she found it reassuring in some way. They didn’t need to talk, they could just enjoy each other’s company.

This time he reached out and took her hand, stopping her in her tracks and turning to face her.

‘Before I tell you what I’m about to, I need you to know something,’ he said.

She was confused, but she wanted to tell him first.

‘I love you,’ she found herself saying.

She barely heard the words herself, but the expression on his face, the way he was suddenly frozen in his position, told her he’d heard them clearly.

‘You…what?’ a small smile tugged at the edge of his mouth and she felt the fear fading away.

‘I…’ she paused, unsure how to continue. ‘I remember.’

A slightly more uncomfortable silence fell between them and the urge to run hit her for the first time all evening.

It was a few moments before he spoke, and she watched his eyes searching hers, their hands still intertwined.

‘Why didn’t you say something?’

He was hurt and she understood.

‘I wasn’t ready,’ she whispered, looking down at the ground.

It was easier than looking at him directly.

He stepped closer, letting go of one of her hands and placed a finger under her chin, lifting it up so she had no choice but to look at him.

‘Are you ready now?’ he said quietly.

She nodded, almost afraid that she was about to cry. This was real, this was happening.

He ran his thumb lightly over her lips as a huge smile broke out on his face.

‘I love you too, Kate,’ he said.

And then he kissed her. It wasn’t like the last time. To start off with there was no guard about to attack them, and she didn’t feel the shock she had felt the last time. All she could feel was his lips against hers, and his arms slowly pulling her closer.

She pulled away for a moment and looked at him.

‘What were you going to say before?’ she asked.

He shook his head, still smiling. ‘It doesn’t matter for now.’

He kissed her again and she pushed away all thoughts of secrets and hiding things. After a few minutes he pulled away, placing a kiss on her forehead and taking her hand in his again.

‘May I walk the lady home?’ he asked.

She smiled. He was at least pretending to be a gentleman, although she felt there was no pressure from him, and if she just wanted to be walked home then he would respect that.

Except the idea of leaving him at that moment was already digging a hole in her chest.

‘Your place is closer,’ she whispered in response.

‘Katherine Beckett, who knew you were so forward,’ he replied.

‘Rick?’ she said.

‘Yeah?’

‘Stop talking.’

She kissed him again and she could feel his lips smiling under hers.

This was right.

And suddenly she didn’t know why she had waited so long.



*



It was his apartment she woke up in. They had debated over whose place to go to for a good long while, until she had won with her simple ‘If we go to yours, we’ll be there faster’.

But there he was, lying next to her, fast asleep, with one arm resting lazily on her stomach, the other stretch out beneath her head. She was tempted to pinch herself, to remind her that yes, this was real, but she didn’t want to move, afraid she would wake him.

It seemed like forever that she lay there, watching him sleeping and remembering everything from the night before, but she knew it was only a few minutes before he spoke.

‘You know it could be considered creepy that you’re watching me sleep,’ he said, his eyes still closed.

‘No more creepy than you pretending not to be awake,’ she replied, kissing him lightly on the lips.

He opened his eyes and looked at her.

‘Just checking you’re real,’ he whispered. ‘This happens a lot in my dreams, but then you disappear when I open my eyes.’

She felt her heart pounding a little bit harder and she smiled.

‘Mine too,’ she replied.

‘I’d like to offer you breakfast, but that would involve me getting out of bed, and I’m not entirely sure I want to do that,’ he commented.

He lifted a hand and traced it lightly down her arm, his fingers barely touching her skin.

‘Breakfast can wait,’ she replied.

‘And yet again I’m seeing this whole new side to you.’

He smiled and kissed her again. She liked that, that they could just kiss, like it was something normal that they did all the time.

The door swung open.

‘Dad, did you want…’

The silence was louder than anything Beckett had ever heard in her life.

‘Alexis!’ Castle exclaimed.

‘Sorry!’ her hand flung up to cover her eyes. ‘Beckett?’

‘Hi,’ she replied.

‘Hi,’ Alexis reached with her other hand to find the exit to the room.

The second his daughter was gone, Castle turned back to face her.

‘It’s okay, I get it, now we actually have to get up,’ she smiled.

‘I’m sorry, I did suggest your apartment,’ he kissed her one more time, then swung his legs out of bed, reaching around to locate his PJs that he’d thrown on the floor the night before.

She did the same, trying to locate her clothes. It took her a little longer and Castle suggested it was probably best he went out and explained himself before she joined him.

She finished getting dressed and hung around in his office for a minute, wasting time until she thought he’d finished.

The office was a much him as he was.

She reached up to grab one of his books and her elbow hit one of his screens, it came to light.

She froze.

It was a murder board.

It was her murder board.

He was investigating her shooting and pretending otherwise.

The door opened and he stuck his head in.

‘Ok, I think it’s safe…’

His last word trailed off as he noticed what she was looking at.

‘That I can explain,’ he said.

She continued reading the screen, suddenly confused. There was information on there she didn’t know, he’d found things out, and he hadn’t told her.

‘Where did you get this information?’ she asked.

‘A guy.’

He was being purposely vague and that annoyed her. She didn’t respond, knowing if she waited long enough he’d continue his explanation, find a need to make her understand.

‘He contacted me months ago, told me to keep you off the case or you’d be killed, and he gave me that information,’ he moved closer to her and she turned to face him.

‘You kept me off my own case? Off my mother’s case? Because some stranger told you to?’

‘To keep you safe.’

She wasn’t sure how that made her feel, she didn’t know whether to listen to her heart pumping in her chest, telling her that he loved her that much, or whether she was mad enough to walk out and not come back.

‘I can protect myself, Castle,’ she shot back.
Yeah. She was mad, definitely mad.

‘Not from these people you can’t,’ he snapped. ‘They want you dead and they will stop at nothing.’

‘So you thought you’d solve the case yourself?’

He hesitated.

‘You’re not a cop, Castle, you can’t do this on your own,’ she continued, feeling the anger subside and the sudden overwhelming urge to cry taking over.

He didn’t seem to have a response for that, and that was the final straw.

‘I have to go,’ she muttered, walking past him, grabbing her bag and storming out.

Of course things weren’t going to be that easy.

They never were.
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Current Mood: sleepysleepy
 
 
 
GeekGrrl Lurking: castle beckett chopsticksgeekgrrllurking on March 12th, 2012 04:54 pm (UTC)
NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Urgh. Kate was so happy and then boom. Gone again.

Lol, I loved it, what a great story!
Fimuldy on March 13th, 2012 06:50 am (UTC)
Thank you!! And yeah I was trying to write happy fic, then my usual angsty side grabbed hold and ended it like that haha.

Glad you enjoyed it :-)
Vicky: [Castle] Katevickysg1 on March 13th, 2012 09:05 am (UTC)
I loved this fic! I actually don't mind that she found out about the murder board. I think it was a great idea, actually. Even though Castle only wants to protect her, he lied to her, and she has the right to be mad at him for that. I really want something like that to happen in the show.

This fic is amazing!
Fimuldy on March 18th, 2012 12:24 am (UTC)
Thank you!!